Archive for the ‘Teen Girls’ Category
Hello everyone I know it’s been a really long time since I’ve posted. I hope everyone is well and I promise to update you all soon. I am asking that you check out my new blog on wordpress called TheDivaThatDoes.
To those of you who have followed my blog I would like to say Thank You! I have been working for the last 2 months on figuring out a new venture for myself and I have a launched a Gourmet Gift Business. About 7 years ago I had a very successful gift Basket Business but it outgrew my 1 bedroom apartment and I didn’t have the money nor the resources to expand so I called it quits and took a 9-5, A few weeks ago I brought in some chocolate covered pretzels as a treat for my coworkers and it has been a real success. So it made me think about what I had left behind years ago and the joy I used to get from creating something, and coming up with out of the box gifts for people. So I have decided to return to that. I have a website in the works http://treatsbythediva.com, and I have been taking orders via word of mouth, phone or email TreatsByTheDiva@gmail.com I am so excited to be back in the busy of making something that makes others happy including myself! I thank you all for the support, I will continue to write on this blog and keep you up to date! You can check out the Facebook Page Treats By The Diva for news and contests!
Ms. T. Crawford
Treats By The Diva
So I have been agonizing over what to write for the last few weeks because I have felt uninspired. There have been so many things going in my life whether its been work related, or personal that have literally left me mentally drained. To be honest it has left me spent, to the point where I haven’t been able to think about anything else.
Last Friday I was off from work because I needed to take care of something with my son. (Something I will get into in a later post). After our appointment we returned home to just relax and my son tells me that he read on Facebook on of his classmates died. I am dumbfounded because I had just seen the child the day before. So I call the school, and the information is confirmed. I am in shock, then I was told to turn on the news. Now I’m confused. What happened? I ask. I’m told again turn on the news. I put on the TV and there is the face I see everyday, speak to, hear her voice in the hallways, or her laugh. My next emotion was pain. She was murdered.. stabbed to be exact by her mother’s boyfriend over 20 times. I can’t even put into words what I feel. I still can’t. What makes this situation unique is because I happen to work in my son’s school so not only do I have a special relationship with him, I have relationships with a lot of his friends and other kids.
How do you explain something like this to a child? As an adult I don’t even understand it. There are so many questions that are now left unanswered, so many things that could have been. Emonee was a bright girl, full of life and full of spunk. She was mature in a lot of ways, in some ways more than girls older than her. I am glad I never shut her out. I am happy that my door was always open for her and anyone else that wants to walk in. I will miss her laugh, I will miss the questions she would love to ask me about love and boys, I will miss seeing her argue with her friends and making up 5 minutes later.
I treasure these things with a heavy heart, but I am thankful.I wish I could write more but I physically can’t put 2 sentences together at the moment. I promise to keep you informed about my efforts to continue helping children and keeping Emonee’s spirit alive. If you have not read the tragic details of this story you can read the story here http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/22/nyregion/22stab.html
Love Your Children and Others
I was interviewed a few weeks ago by Fitsmi.com a website devoted to helping Teen girls overcome issues with Obesity. I am an advocate for healthy eating in areas that are on the low-end of the socioeconomic totem pole. Unfortunately the South Bronx is on the top of that list check out the interview here http://www.fitsmi.com/moms/our-blogs/mastermind-monday/2010/04/30/the-south-bronx-diet-stacked-against-you/ there is a lot of work to be done. The culture of this area needs to change and one of the major ways we can do that is by educating people. The article was also selected as an Editor’s Pick on Open.Salon.com http://open.salon.com/blog/divamomnyc/2010/05/03/the_south_bronx_diet_stacked_against_you
For ages their have been all types of slang and code words that children have used for generations. With the age and explosion of the internet, social networking, and Instant Messaging if you have a teenager you may barely be able to understand the words that come from their mouths. So I am going to inform you of a new term that is going around and I encourage you to talk to your teens about it. The term “VCard” is being used by boys and girls. No it’s not something for their netbook or Xbox. What a VCard actually is, is your child’s virginity. So if you hear kids/teens talking about collecting VCards, or possibly giving up their VCards this is what they are referring to. With the rates of Teenage Pregnancies and transmissions of STD’, self-esteem issues etc. It is so important that we talk to our kids about sex. They are exposed to it everyday via TV, the Newspaper, in School and it’s not something that is going to go away. I ask you to share this information with other parents so we can all start to be a little more informed about the life of our Teens.
Today I have been captivated by the Goldman Sachs hearings. As I type this the echo of the hearings are streaming via CNN and echo in the background. As a parent of a child in Public School, an employee in Education and a Taxpayer I must admit I am mortified and disgusted. Not for the reasons you may think. The fact that some of these stockbrokers and CEO’s can admit they have no regret about their actions, the fact they collected $9 million dollar bonuses as people lost their homes and jobs are a given. These are not the things that trouble me, what troubles me are the similarities between the structure, bureaucracy, and downfall of the financial system and the Education System. Replace CEO’s with Principals, Replace Brokers with Teachers/Parents, Replace Profits and Losses with Students. See why I’m worried? The thing that worries me the most is the lack of accountability. I have always likened raising a child to having stock depending on how much you invest in it and nurture it the better the return will be. Who is to blame when our kids don’t learn? How is it acceptable that Principals profit and earn big bonuses when their schools are failing? You have schools that are boasting about sending kids to community college.. Really? Is that all we can offer our kids? What does that say about why they are not competitive, why they have no interest in school.? Why their SAT scores are in the toilet? How can we expect our kids to succeed when we put people in charge of their education to ensure they fail? Where is the moral and ethical responsibility? Where and how do we begin to bring reform to our children’s schools and take responsibility for their Education? Do you really know your child’s teacher or principal? As the chairman repeatedly accused the Goldman Sachs CEO’s of doing was selling “junk”. To a certain degree that’s how I feel about the quality of education in some schools. You have teachers that are just working to earn Tenure and they know they are doing a crappy job. You have principals that allow this, they need to protect themselves so they can also get tenure and bonuses. It’s not fair. If you are a taxpayer in NYC you have a right to know what teachers, principals and administrators earn at your child’s expense. Here is a site where you can check http://www.seethroughny.net/Payrolls/EmployeeSearch/tabid/69/Default.aspx
Also remember you have a right to know who is teaching your child, stop by their schools unannounced, check on them in classes, observe what goes on in the halls, talk to your children. Don’t always take the teachers word. We are all accountable and we all have a responsibility to the future of America. There will be more to come on this topic. I encourage people to comment especially from other states, I can only attest to some of the goings on in NYC.
Posted April 19, 2010on:
bitching about Door Man strikes in their building http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/19/nyregion/19strike.html The title of the article says “New Yorkers Brace for Doorman Strike”. I am a New Yorker and to be frank I am not bracing for shit. This part of the New York Lifestyle affects me in no way whatsoever. I have lived in New York my entire life and like most I think it’s a great city, I think it’s a great place to vacation. To live here is another story. You have average rents for studio apartments starting at $1,000 a month in a semi decent neighborhood,crime is ridiculous, jobs are scarce and there are just too many people here. As a single mom its hard enough trying to pay rent my last apartment in the ass of the Bronx was $1,200 a month not including utilities, food etc. I now live in Brooklyn in a not so normal living situation which may be changing in the next few weeks. I work for the Dept of Education and my salary is about $37,000 a year. After deductions I take home about $1,500 a month. That is barely enough to support myself as a single person yet to also have a teenager. But I do it. Thats the one thing NY has taught me and that is how to survive and always have a backup plan. I am on the fence now about leaving the state because I can’t afford to live here. Depending on some information that should come in the next few weeks I will have to decide where to move to next in NY or leave the state completely. Here was my response to the NY article “As a Native New Yorker who works in Education and makes only $37,000 a year and sending a kid to Private School. I have been more than creative in trying to find a decent place to live in NY. $40,000 is nothing in NYC to live on. The opening paragraph states how much these people are needed. If you have the money to pay for convenience than Pay IT! Some of us don’t have the luxury, means or to be frank the desire. Only in NY could you make $40,000 a year and be poor!. I long for the days when I see my son through HS/College and I can take myself around the world and open up doors for those less fortunate!” I mean every word of this statement I would love nothing more to drop everything fit what I could in a backpack and travel the world helping children, and people who will never know such privileges of having a doorman, a place to sleep that is their own, or even a book or pair of shoes. So call me bitter, jealous, envious I could care less what I am is a human being who has spent my life sacrificing for others because that’s what makes me feel good and instilling those same values in my son. With all of the natural disasters going on in this world, and people having no respect for life, nature, the planet we need to pick our battles and choose wisely. So these doormen deserve a living wage and if that means they have to strike to get it I hope they do it! In New York it’s an everyday occurence of people struggling for basic necessities. The fact that people are actually shrieking at the thought of opening their own doors, maybe having to go to the post office to pick up their packages, or greeting their own children after school doesn’t stir up one bit of empathy from me. I pick up my own packages, I take my kid to school, I raise my own child and have done it for the last 15 years, I do my laundry, I grocery shop, I bathe myself, I open my own doors, I swipe my own Metrocard, I feed myself, I cook for myself, I dress myself, I think you get the point. I think the part that bothers me the most is people who have never been to NY will get the impression this is all our story and it’s not. NY is a hard place to live, love and earn a living. Don’t believe the hype!
Posted April 14, 2010on:
I wish I made up that headline just to attract attention to my post but I didn’t. It was a real conversation between my 14-year-old son and I. So how do you react when you have a kid that’s still into Video Games, Friends, Pizza and Cartoons but comes home to tell you that his classmate has given birth as if he was asking for a new pair of sneakers? My first reaction is a selfish one because I am glad it’s not my kid, my second reaction is why is a 14-year-old getting pregnant and where is her mother? Lastly why is this subject not as surprising to my child as it is to me? Females have been having babies since the beginning of time, but there is a rapid increase of Young Mothers and it is downright scary. I had my son at 18 not exactly an adult but not a child either and to be quite frank regardless of age 15 years later I have yet to revisit the experience. Raising children is not an easy task, there are days when I honestly feel like I could cry non stop because of all the worries and fears. There isn’t a book on how to raise every child because no 2 kids are alike. I learned a lot as I went along and I am still learning. One of the things that I appreciate most about being a mom is the teaching aspect. I try to teach my son something new everyday about life and being a good person. These are the lessons that will help make him a man. Now at 33 years of age, employed, educated, creative, resourceful and resilient I still don’t feel like I know it all when it comes to Parenting so it just makes me wonder what these children are doing when they decide to bring children in to the world. Sex Education and Health classes are non-existent in most schools and a lot of Parents have issues talking to their children about sex. So what do we do? How do we help these kids? There has to be a way to show them beyond episodes of Teens in Trouble on Maury that having sex at an early age can mean the end of their life. A baby is a gift. A disease not so much. I would love to go around to schools and communities and talk to girls and boys about this. They need to see that this is not an option for their childhood. I know several young/teen moms and speak to them on a regular basis and I am in the process of writing a Teen Parenting Guide. Not to encourage girls to have babies but for the ones that are parents on how to properly take care of them, how to budget, how to maintain a healthy mind and body for themselves as well as their baby. Most Parenting books are written from the perspective of Married, Older Women who want to have children not from the 13-year-old sitting next to your daughter in Math Class.
Cursing at your children.. On a daily basis I’m either on the subway or just walking down the street and notice parents cursing at their children. The thing that bothers me is they are usually small children like under 5. I am wondering if there are any long-term effects as a result of this? Most times the parents are frustrated and just react in anger. I am not a psychologist nor am I a mother of the year but in my 15 years of being a parent I have never cursed at or hit my child.. Now as he is going into his teen years that may change. My question is when you see something like this do you say something? Also do you think it has any effect on the child?